|2016 Wacky Packages MLB #16 Cubs Honey|
|2016 Wacky Packages MLB #7 Blue Jays Bird Bath Sports Drink|
Of course, I never saw a bottle with an actual bird inside.
|2016 Wacky Packages MLB #10 Braves Cutlery Set|
This reminds me a bit of the Samurai Delicatessen, one of the John Belushi's great skits from the early days of Saturday Night Live.
|2016 Wacky Packages MLB #20 Dodgers Sushi|
Yeah, some of these puns are better than others.
I'm not sure if I'd go for ballpark sushi, but getting little baseball bats as chopsticks might seal the deal. I'd just have to forgo a beer or two, because when a sixty-cent hot dog goes for six bucks, I can easily see ballpark prices for something like this being well into the $20 range.
|2016 Wacky Packages MLB #22 Giants Magic Beans|
There's a bit of truth to this one too, as groundskeepers once discovered hundreds of marijuana plants growing in the outfield at Anaheim Stadium following a concert by The Who in 1976. Apparently, fans with on-field seating scattered seeds all over the outfield, and no one noticed anything was amiss until just before the season began.
|2016 Wacky Packages MLB Red Seam #83 Nacho High Cheese|
These Red Seam parallels don't seem to be on the sell sheet or checklist, but here they are nonetheless. The base cards just have a white background, but we can always count on Topps to make a bunch of parallels, even ones that aren't advertised.
Longtime fans of David Letterman may vaguely remember a baseball joke they used to do many years ago called "Ball, Get Out Of My Nachos!" Biff Henderson, the stage assistant they brought on the air once in a while, was shown sitting in a crowd eating nachos, when a baseball suddenly landed on his plate. Rather than keep the souvenir, he'd shout, "Ball, get out of my nachos!" and fling the ball back on the field.
Can you tell I'm a fan of late-night comedy shows?
Nachos also happen to be my girlfriend's favorite ballpark snack, so the fact that this card dropped out of a pack she bought me is quite appropriate. And the use of high cheese one card after a marijuana reference was a complete accident. Though in Colorado, you never know. Next time you visit friends in this state, double check with the host before you munch on a brownie.
|2016 Wacky Packages MLB Red Seam #75 Charlotte Stone Crabs Cakes|
Rather unappealing to my palate, but the "Pinch Hitters" pun might be the best in the whole pack.
|2016 Wacky Packages MLB #76 Toledo Mud Hens Hen Sanitizer|
Interestingly, I finally decided to look up what a mud hen is, and it turns out it's a duck-like bird called a Coot. And with this handy hen sanitizer, the birds can be cleaned up regularly, although a true pitcher would look at this and just see another foreign substance to experiment with.
|2016 Wacky Packages MLB #87 Salty Pretzel|
I'm no expert in slang, but I've heard "salty" quite frequently in the past year or so to describe someone who is upset or agitated. Really, go look at Twitter. I'd say it's 50/50 whether someone is describing actual food with it. And for Topps to tie both meanings together shows a fair bit of genius, I'd say.
As an aside, if you enjoy salted pretzels, or salty snacks in general, you ought to go find a salt bagel. They can be a bit tough to come by, and are typically firmer than soft pretzels, but are well worth trying. It's like the salt equivalent of sugar crystals on a cookie.
Thanks for reading! Now I need to go find something to eat.